In 2020, while our world suffered a global pandemic, one storyteller released The Wonder Switch, a book that dared you to flip your wonder switch into the “on” position.
It was a breath of fresh air during that crazy season.
After hearing Harris III (“Harris the Third”) give several presentations and reading an early excerpt from his book, I couldn’t wait for the complete book to be released. Harris reminds us that we’re born with this switch “on.” Somewhere along the line, something happens, and we turn off the switch.
Something like betrayal trauma.
Recovery from trauma requires change. Without change, you will not recover from the trauma and risk turning cynical, feeling like a failure, and harboring shame, stress, and anxiety. You lose your sense of wonder.
If you are willing to change, discovering the gift of wonder opens you to possibilities you didn’t see before.
As Harris III states in his book,
“Wonder is a powerful catalyst for change. It surprises you and, as my friend Brad Montague says, ‘rescues you from the ordinary.’ Wonder is the moment when you witness something beautiful and bigger than yourself and know without a doubt that you were made for more. It whispers, ‘Isn’t this extraordinary?’ Wonder is more than just a feeling—it is a childlike state that gives you permission to believe in real magic.”
Wonder can help you recover from trauma, which is the third navigation point in this series.
🧭 Navigation Point: Wonder
Great. You want to turn on your wonder switch, but how do you do that?
1. Get curious.
When was the last time you felt like a failure? Did you just shrink back a little bit? I winced as I wrote that because it’s been less than 24 hours since I felt like a failure.
But what if you flip it with curiosity instead of allowing that sense of failure to add to your negative narrative? What would that look like in your story?
Perhaps you could ask, “I wonder what I can learn from this mistake?” “What if I tried this instead?” Rather than, “I’m so stupid,” it could be, “How exciting. I learned something new.”
Remember the story about Thomas Edison? When a colleague expressed disappointment that Edison hadn’t gotten the desired results, Edison responded, “Why, man, I have gotten a lot of results! I have found several thousand things that won’t work.” Edison described his work as a discovery. He curiously investigated why his theories didn’t work until he found the solution.
Failure, as Dan Miller said, is learning. Curious people experience wonder. They discover things they didn’t know. Shame and embarrassment get kicked to the curb.
2. Verbally express “aha” moments.
What images come to mind when you think about verbally expressing wonder? 😯🤭👏🏻 😀 🤯
A coach of mine relates that whenever a family member walks into the room, she says something like, “Oh! You’re here!” That “oh” sounds like a quick intake of breath in a pleasant surprise. Imagine how you would feel if someone responded to you that way.
Betrayal trauma recovery needs these verbal expressions of wonder. Hearing yourself exclaim joyfully over something you notice does something profound in your brain. God created our brains with the ability to adapt and change over time. What you focus on matters. You train your brain to look for more fantastic moments by verbally expressing wonder.
Learning to express wonder takes practice. If you can’t see anything that creates a sense of wonder or awe, you can’t express it.
As part of my recovery journey, I looked for three daily things that took my breath away—wonder. One morning, right after a fast-moving rainstorm, I looked out the window to the east and saw two bright orange orbs. It was probably what is known as a sundog, just exceptionally close to the original sun. I wish I’d thought to snap a quick picture. Frozen to the spot, I watched the sun’s mirror reflection in the clouds slowly dissipate. My entire body experienced the wonder of that moment.
3. Ask God to surprise you daily.
Psalm 65:8 says, “Those who live at the ends of the earth stand in awe of your wonders. From where the sun rises to where it sets, you inspire shouts of joy.”
Where do you see God working in your life? Often, it’s in the simple things. But sometimes, God knocks your socks off. I learned to ask God to surprise me every day. One author colleague calls these “God Dots.” She says it’s like God touches you with his finger to help you recognize he is with you.
When was the last time you felt surprised by God’s presence? If it’s been a while, consider asking God to show himself to you uniquely. Then, play an “I Spy” game with him. This isn’t irreverent. It’s asking God to allow you to see what he does.
Do you need some tangible evidence that God is with you? I have and often still do. Each time I ask God to show me his closeness, he does something that day that speaks directly to my heart. It could be a word, something in nature while on a walk, or a song or verse that “pops” into my head. I love it when God surprises me.
These special God-surprises increase your wonder.
There you have it—three simple navigation points to help you thrive through the holidays, even when dealing with betrayal trauma.
- Discover Joy
- Simplify
- Wonder
You don’t need any special tools, just a willing heart and mind.
Luke 2 tells us that Mary watched everything God did at Jesus’ birth with wonder.
She took in everything and treasured them. Did she fully understand the messages from the angels, the shepherds, and the wise men? Maybe not. But she chose to believe God, obey his words, and follow his lead.
You can do the same. If you need help, please don’t hesitate to let me know. I promise to listen to your heart.