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BetrayalMarriage

Lied To? Wounds You Need To Unpack

By November 22, 2019January 27th, 2023No Comments
wounds

We recently moved. I have two words about this.

Don’t. Like. ?‍♀️

I love our new home. But not the moving process. The best word to describe our house at the moment is chaos. Boxes are everywhere. One thing I discovered with this move: I don’t do chaos well. At least not this kind.

woundsIt’s time to unpack.

As I stare at the stacks of boxes, I want to snap my fingers and have everything magically put away, organized, and done. Where’s Mary Poppins when you need her? ? That’s not going to happen, but it’d sure be lovely if it did.

Another thought occurred to me while staring at the mound of boxes.

I’ve created a pile of boxes before. They were in my heart—sealed up tight to store emotions away.

When I faced the betrayal of my husband’s addiction, my instinct was to pack up that wound and put it out of sight. Enclose the chaos. The emotions of his betrayal hurt intensely. So, I boxed the hurt, hoping the pain would be contained and then disappear.

However, the wounds didn’t heal. They festered. Eventually, everything came to the surface. Each wound, with all its emotion, had to be unpacked.

While I wanted to heal quickly, that’s not #reallife. Reality demands you deal with issues one by one. Some resolve quickly; others take a lifetime to process.

There’s a better way to deal with those boxed wounds and intense emotions.

  1. Stop. When you continue to dodge the wound, you don’t make progress. I learned that to deal with the wounds, I had to stop and identify my reality. Only then could I begin the healing process with God. The Bible tells us there are times to be still in God’s presence long enough to hear Him. He knows the path that is best for us. But if we continually dart from one place or activity to the next, we don’t hear him. So, stop and be still.
  2. Start. Betrayal brings a host of unwanted emotions. Just like moving into a new home, to deal with the intensity of the wounds and feelings, you need to decide where to start. You can’t open every box at once—that’s worse chaos. Sorting out the emotions and naming the wounds involves hard work. Yet, if you don’t take the time to do so, you spin and sputter instead of conquering those pesky boxes.

The Bible tells us that God is a God of order, not chaos. When we walk hand in hand with God, He brings peace to our lives.

However, don’t confuse peace with a lack of conflict.

Because we live in this world, disagreements, struggles, conflict, and pain are normal. Wishing them away won’t change the world. It only brings more chaos.

Do you have some wound boxes you need to deal with? If so, check out these free resources:

One of the best things I did was to get help to process the wounds.

I needed to heal from the betrayal. And that was not going to happen alone. Just like an unpacking party with me, and a trusted friend will help to get my office in shape twice as quickly (and be a lot more fun).

As one who’s walked this road, please reach out to me. I promise to listen without judgment and help you take the next step.

Don’t box it up. Reach out. You face a choice today: healing or denial.

Me? C’mon over! I’m back to unpacking these boxes to eliminate the chaos.

  • Kirsten D Samuel

    I empower Christian wives to discover they are seen, loved, and heard. These women find the freedom to be who they are beyond their partner’s struggles, and find hope that there is a life worth living.