Mom made Christmas magical with beautiful decorations, welcoming aromas, and plenty of candlelight.
She seemed to navigate the Christmas season with ease and grace. I wanted to be just like her. Mom made cookies, fudge, candy, and other seasonal goodies, knitted up a storm for her family, made homemade gifts for others, and often hosted extended family throughout the holiday season. It seemed our large chest freezer burst its seams.
However, I’m not my mom.
Several years ago, I penned an offbeat take on The Night Before Christmas while feeling overwhelmed and unprepared for the Christmas season. You can read the entire poem here.
If you struggle with betrayal trauma, you might feel like a failure because you have no energy to do the things you’ve always done.
But remember, your worth is not defined by your ability to perform. You are valued regardless of what you can or cannot do.
I remember the year Mom didn’t do all these things with grace and ease due to severe grief. She apologized profusely, believing she’d let her family down. She hadn’t, of course. Years later, when undergoing an unexpected challenge, this next navigation point struck home.
🧭 Navigation Point: Simplify
During our kids’ elementary school years, we experienced various illnesses over the Christmas break.
Inevitably, at least one of us spent the holidays dealing with a cold or worse.
Until one Christmas.
The day before Christmas break, the phone rang.
The school nurse informed me that our daughter was running a fever and complaining of stomach upset. We’d only been home about an hour when the phone rang again—next child with the same symptoms. I asked our neighbor to hang by our front door while I ran to the school again.
Less than an hour later, I succumbed. The stomach flu hit hard and fast. We were stacked like cordwood on the living room floor, where I could see and help everyone without standing up until Dave came home from work.
Necessity demanded that we I simplify my traditional holiday plans and dreams.
By Christmas Day, the kids felt good. Dave and our youngest escaped the sickness, but I couldn’t lift my head. In desperation, he asked what he could fix for the hungry kids. It needed to be quick and straightforward.
We settled on sloppy joes.
Ever since then, this has been our Christmas dinner. The kids love it. I don’t spend the day in the kitchen because I put the mixture together in the slow cooker. We eat when we’re ready. Add carrot sticks, fruit, and potato chips, and we have a winning dinner.
Where can you simplify the Christmas season?
Here’s a quick process to help you overcome the “shoulds.”
List everything you believe you should do or want to do.
These could be things you love or others believe are your responsibility.
Review the list and circle the things you love and energize you.
Put a star by anything you can delegate.
Skip everything else on your list–at least for this year.
Here’s an example
This simplify navigation point provides freedom when you struggle with holiday expectations.
Give yourself permission to participate in activities that bring joy and fulfillment.
Too often, we pile on expectations and activities that prevent us from enjoying this season’s beauty. Listen to your body and heart when choosing where to spend your energy.
You’ll have plenty of opportunities to do any number of things. Choose those that bless you and skip the rest.
Simplify to find energy and peace.
In the Christmas story, the wise men focused on finding the King of the Jews who had just been born. They spent their time and energy there. When they saw Jesus in that humble animal stall, they worshiped him. The Bible says the wise men were filled with joy!
How can you be filled with joy this Christmas?
Simplify your expectations and activities. Discover joy and peace by immersing yourself in the wonder of Jesus’ birth.
The following blog provides another navigation point to help you survive and thrive this Christmas.
If you struggle to apply this simplified navigation point, let’s talk. Together, we’ll devise your plan for experiencing joy, peace, and energy.