We are not made to live in isolation. We need each friend.
Not everyone thrives on being around people all the time.
I don’t. I prefer quiet and solitude. But that doesn’t mean I want to live in isolation. Every once in a while, I need to connect with others—need to feel that heart and soul communion with someone I trust. Someone who gets me and accepts me unconditionally. Someone who makes me laugh or challenges my thinking.
I’m blessed and utterly grateful to be married to my best friend. But, that isn’t enough. I need women friends too.
It’s too easy not to invest in others.
We’re all busy—too busy most of the time. Yet, without a deep soul connection with others, we begin to shrivel inside.
We become more cynical and less open to others. Our world becomes very narrow, cramped, and dull.
It’s also too easy to invest time with the wrong people.
Think about it. We’ve all seen how the wrong friends can distract a person from being productive, contented, and joyful in life.
As a young mom, in a new community, my husband and I made friends with a couple our age.
While my husband’s friendship with the man was beneficial, my friendship with the woman…let’s say it was less than beneficial. When we spent time together, I came away feeling exhausted, depressed, and totally drained. This woman didn’t speak truth into my life. She didn’t seek to encourage. All she wanted was to spew negativity.
Granted, her outlook on life came from a place of deep hurt. However, she wasn’t the friend for me and our paths slowly drifted apart.
Then there is another friend.
We met when we were both new in another community. Though not necessarily the same age, we became friends. We didn’t live close by each other but the friendship grew and blossomed into one of the deepest, most mutually encouraging friendships I’ve ever known.
She is fun, caring, thoughtful, totally different from me in many ways, insightful, loving, beautiful, and honest. We can speak truth into each others’ lives. Often, we laugh together and cry together. We can encourage each other when life is a mystery or sit together in comfortable silence. She knows me and I know her. She is a beautiful treasure.
Today we live several thousand miles apart. We don’t talk often—we say we will call but life happens and we don’t. Neither one of us is a good letter writer or even an email writer. Yet, when we connect, it’s like we’ve spoken yesterday – not six months or a year ago.
She is my heart sister.
This friendship builds my character. I’m a better person when I spend time with her. Every moment is rejuvenating. She is a special, rare gift.
“And friends are friends forever
If the Lord’s the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
‘Cause the welcome will not end
Though it’s hard to let you go
In the Father’s hands we know
That a lifetime’s not too long
To live as friends”
excerpted from “Friends Are Friends Forever” words & music by Michael W. Smith
Finding a good friend or two is critical.
This type of friendship takes time and energy. They are a special, extraordinary gift. Some may last for a short time; others may last a lifetime. But each one impacts your heart, challenges your thoughts and actions, brings joy to your life, and enriches you beyond your wildest imagination.
When life is absolutely out of control, who do you have in your life that will enter into the crazy with you and encourage you in the right direction?
Do you have a friend that moves you forward? Or, are you investing your time and energy into friendships that hold you back, drag you down, or keep you stuck in the muck of life?
At the same time, what kind of friend are you?
Are you an encouraging friend or one who spends her time being critical and negative? Do your friends seek time with you?
As moms, life is often crazy. I encourage you to take the time to find and develop friends that bring joy not negativity; friends that challenge you to be a better person; friends that accept you for who you are right now but encourage to grow in truth instead of remaining stagnant. And, I encourage you to be this friend to others.
Who is your heart sister? Tell me about her.
Kirsten D. Samuel
Aftershock Recovery Coach
8-week Program, Custom-paced Coaching, Remote, or In-person Sessions