Growing up, I loved being around my uncle’s horses. These majestic animals intrigued and frightened me. Sometimes they had blinders on, and other times not. I always wondered about that but never worked up the courage to ask. So I did a little research. Horseracingsense.com says blinders help a horse stay focused and perform their task better. Makes sense.
When it comes to your most intimate human relationship—marriage—blinders can help.
Sometimes we must overlook petty quirks and focus on the significant task—building a healthy marriage.
However, sometimes when love sees all, it’s to our benefit.
God, our Creator and Redeemer, certainly sees all. Look at what he tells us in Romans 5:6-8 in The MESSAGE translation (emphasis mine):
Christ arrives right on time to make this happen. He didn’t, and doesn’t, wait for us to get ready. He presented himself for this sacrificial death when we were far too weak and rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready. And even if we hadn’t been so weak, we wouldn’t have known what to do anyway. We can understand someone dying for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble could inspire us to selfless sacrifice. But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him.
Every time I read this passage, and others like it, I praise God that he didn’t wait for me to get my act together. I wouldn’t have, and he knows that.
God’s love sees me where I am and loves me as I am.
Read that statement again. What does that do to your mind and heart? What do you feel?
If God’s love sees all, and it does, how does that impact your life? During the worst of my depression, I tangibly realized his presence. You can read about it in Choosing a Way Out: When the Bottom Isn’t the Bottom. Though I hit bottom physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, God didn’t turn his back on me. Praise him forever!
How does love sees all positively impact your marriage?
When you and your husband grasp being fully known and accepted as you are, you find freedom. A by-product of this knowledge allows a new level of transparency. If you feel accepted and loved for who you are, you can be silly, serious, sexy, and sensitive without fear of rejection. You get to be you no matter what. Imagine that. No pretensions, just the real you.
Without dreams, life turns gray. Before I understood that Dave loved me no matter what, I felt afraid to dream beyond what was possible. And those aren’t dreams. Once Dave and I rebuilt trust in each other, my heart and mind changed. Suddenly, I saw more extraordinary adventures and possibilities, and I couldn’t wait to share them with Dave. The more we dream together, the closer we feel and desire a technicolor life. After all, Jesus said that he came to bring us abundant life. In my thinking, abundant living = adventure.
Rather than jumping to conclusions, when love sees all, it looks at all sides of the issue (thank you, Dave). You don’t come to the conflict with your mind made up. Instead, you listen well, ask good questions, seek to find a resolution that’s a win-win, and realize the best answer comes this way. Romans 12 encourages us to live differently than the world says. We live out of gratitude for all God does for us. He gave us eternal life. How can we hang onto petty grievances?
Which of these impacts do you need to strengthen in your marriage?
No one applies these perfectly every day. It isn’t about perfection but about learning, growing, and practicing. God promises to help us because we’ve proved we can’t do it without him.
Would you pick transparency, adventure, or grace to work on? How will you refocus your mind and heart and apply this to your marriage? I’d love to hear about your progress. If you feel stuck or not sure how to begin, please reach out. Together, we’ll unpack how to love well while seeing all. You can do this.