Jenny collapsed on the couch next to her husband, not caring about the game on TV. For the umpteenth time, she wondered if her she’d ever be considered a great mom. After today, she sincerely doubted it.
All she wanted to do was crawl into bed and hide. Forever.
Does this sound like your day?
But as she looked around the room, she noticed the little things—toys that didn’t quite make the toy box, Sammy’s teddy bear over by the chair, the stack of mail on the table.
Self-condemning questions ricocheted through her mind.
Why did she always struggle to get things done during the day?
Was it impossible for her to do what other women did? They made it look so easy.
What was wrong with her?
Have you ever felt this way? I know I have.
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The next time you hear these thoughts here are some concepts to consider:
- Take time to ground yourself in eternal truth. Consistent time spent reading the Bible, God’s guidebook for life, is important to gain perspective on your life. How can you be who you are in Christ if you don’t know what God says about you? How can you love, honor, and respect your husband if your relationship with the Father is strained or weak? How can you parent your little’s when you haven’t learned to control your emotions, thoughts, and actions? How can you manage your home if you haven’t learned to manage yourself? How can you serve others when you are dry as a bone inside? How can you lead where you haven’t gone? Time spent in God’s Word anchors your soul in the eternal.
- Acknowledge your real life. There are days where life seems to have you in a chokehold. Days when your boss demands more than can be done by one person. Days that follow a night spent soothing a teething baby. Days consumed with negotiating the car repairs from a recent accident. On these days, remember that you are one person. Identify that which must be done TODAY and focus on that. The rest of the stuff will be there tomorrow.
- Stop comparing. Seriously, comparing doesn’t help you or the other person. You are you. Unique. Beautiful. Special. There is no one else just like you. Therefore, you have a unique role to play on this earth. We need you to be the best “you” you can be. Let your friend be her best self ‘cause we need her too.
- Eliminate time wasters. Everyone has time wasters. For some, it is social media. For others, it is the television. Or perhaps it’s talking on the telephone. Or maybe you jump from one thing to the next, but rarely finish anything. Look at your last week. How did you get distracted and waste time?
- Decide what matters most. This means you get clear on what you really care about in this life. My coach says, “Clarity attracts; confusion repels.” Even as moms, this applies. What kind of marriage do you desire? How do you want your children to behave? How do you take care of yourself? You can’t have it all, but you can have what is most important.
- Know it is hard but not impossible. Just because something is hard—like choosing to fix healthy meals for your family most of the time—doesn’t mean it is impossible. Look back to #5. If it is important you will make time in your day to accomplish it. And along the way, you just might discover something about yourself. It is in the struggles of life that we learn the most about who we are.
Great moms know life is sometimes hard but it’s not impossible.
Over the next week, keep track of what you do every day and how much time you spend doing it. Then, honestly evaluate what needs to change. Write it down. Come up with a measurable action plan to make one change. Find an accountability partner to help you when the struggle to continue when the change is hard.
Who is a great mom in your eyes? Why do you think so?
Tell us about her in the comments below.
If you need help, please reach out. I promise to listen without judgment and help you take the next step.
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