My relationship with my dad wasn’t perfect, but it was good.
And because of that, I caught glimpses of what it meant to know God as Father.
My dad wasn’t the loudest in the room. He didn’t always get it right. But he loved deeply, forgave quickly, and lived with quiet strength. In his actions, I saw faithfulness. In his consistency, I saw trust. And in his love, I started to believe that God could be a good Father, too.
Here’s what a good dad can teach us:
- Love completely.
- Laugh at yourself.
- Laugh with others, but never at them.
- Be considerate.
- Listen before responding.
- Stay connected, even when you disagree.
- Show respect to everyone.
- Live with integrity.
- Keep your word.
- Work hard. Play often.
- Live the life God designed for you—not someone else’s expectations.
- Don’t waste energy on the opinions of people who don’t love you.
- Love Jesus wholeheartedly.
- Forgive quickly and freely, even when you don’t get it in return.
- Speak the truth, even when it’s hard.
- Surround yourself with people who seek your best and call you higher.
Fathers who follow Jesus—who reflect God as Father—create a safe place for their children to grow. To fail. And also to learn. Above all, to be loved.
However, not every story resembles mine.
Some of us carry deep father wounds:
- Words that cut: “You’re stupid. You’ll never amount to anything.”
- Criticism without kindness: nothing was ever good enough.
- Anger and abuse—leaving marks on the body, mind, and spirit.
- Absence. Physical, emotional, spiritual.
- Neglect: refusing to provide, protect, or show up.
- Lies: “You’re a burden. You’ll never be good enough.”
These wounds shape how we see ourselves—and it also shapes how we see God. Instead of seeing God as a loving Father, we see him through a skewed lens. If your father wounded you, then you might find it difficult to have a clear understanding of God as Father.
Because if your earthly father was distant, demanding, or destructive, it’s easy to believe that God is just more of the same. Unreachable. Unpleasable. Unsafe.
But that’s not who He is.Psalm 103:13 says, “As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him.”
James 1:17 reminds us, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”
The more I’ve gotten to know God—not just know about Him—the more I’ve come to believe this truth:
God is not the reflection of your earthly father. Instead, God is the Father you’ve always desired.
Jesus made it clear how much the Father cares for His children. He welcomed them when others pushed them away. He called them a blessing. He defended their value.
God listens to His children. He provides. He protects. God speaks life, not death. Hope, not shame. Truth, not fear.
Ephesians 3:14–15 says, “For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name.” That’s your identity. That’s your source.
If Father’s Day brings up pain, I see you.
I’ve walked with women carrying deep wounds. But I’ve also seen what happens when they let God begin to redefine what “Father” means.
He can handle your questions. He can hold your grief when you don’t think you can. And He can heal your heart even when you think it is broken beyond healing.
This Father’s Day, whether you’re celebrating or grieving, I invite you to look to God as Father.
Let Him show you what it means to be perfectly loved.
Bible Verses to Reflect On:
- Psalm 68:5 – “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.”
- Matthew 7:11 – “If you, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him!”
- Luke 18:16 – “Let the little children come to me…for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.”
- Proverbs 18:21 – “The tongue has the power of life and death.”
- Isaiah 64:8 – “Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.”
Want help untangling the wounds that make it hard to trust God as your Father? Let’s talk. I offer a complimentary Find Hope Again session to walk with you through the pain and toward the peace your heart longs for.
You’re not alone. You are deeply loved by a good, good Father.