She did it again! How many times do we have to go around this circle? Trish fumed. No matter how many discussions they had with this family member, Trish and Paul found themselves in the same drama. What gives? Why couldn’t they break this cycle?
At least, Trish thought, my relationship with Paul feels healthier than it has in years.
Paul and Trish had invested time, effort, and resources into healing so they could move away from the destructive relational patterns they brought into the marriage. In the past few months, they’d started dreaming about what could be possible through these changing behavioral patterns. Now this current family member issue opened up past wounds that Trish hated. The recent conflict brought Paul and Trish back to passive-aggressive patterns that they’d worked so hard to overcome.
Trish and Paul faced a choice: get sucked into the drama or choose another path.
A couple of days later, Trish met with her coach. After relating the recent drama, her coach shocked Trish.
“So what?” the coach said.
Stunned into silence, Trish snapped her mouth shut. She felt insulted, unheard even. After a few awkward moments, her coach continued.
“You can’t change her. But you don’t have to accept her drama. Let it go.”
And in those few simple words, Trish discovered how quickly she allowed herself to get caught up in old habits, patterns, and unnecessary drama.
Words that stung because they were true.
What if Trish could change her focus from drama to dreaming more?
- Drama happens, but you don’t have to buy into it.
- Interpersonal relationships naturally tend toward drama.
- Switch your focus from the drama to what is right in your world.
- Dreams expand our minds, energy, and outlook.
- Dreams bring joy; drama breeds discontent.
Today, and every day, give yourself the gift of dreams. Ditch the drama.
How can you dream more and leave the drama in the dust?
Designate daily time to daydream.
Like many of you, sometimes Trish got in trouble for daydreaming. Because of this, Trish decided that daydreaming wasn’t good. But that’s not true. When was the last time you went outside, looked at the clouds, and described what you saw there? Set a timer for 30 minutes and look out the window, letting your mind wander. What do you discover? Daydreaming allows your imagination to soar. It’s good for the soul.
Dream with your spouse.
Like you, Trish’s marriage relationship has struggled. If you find yourself in that space, get some help. One of the ways Trish and Paul learned to reconnect and build trust was to spend some time dreaming together. They set a few simple guidelines for this time. No dream-squashing. Nothing was too crazy. No concern about the financial impact. Be descriptive in your dream.
Pick one dream to pursue.
Trish wanted to learn photography. She researched photography classes in her area and signed up. Paul loved to cook, but his dream was to share a fun cooking evening with Trish. After a Google search in their area, they found a couple’s cooking class. That evening together created magical moments filled with laughter and good food.
Do you, like Trish, struggle to say “so what?” to the drama swirling around you? Would you rather dream more?
You can exchange drama for dreams, conflict for connection, and frustration for fun. Need some help processing the drama? Let’s talk.