Happy Holidays!
Merry Christmas!
Happy Hannukah!
Cheery faces surrounded by sparkling lights. Somehow, people find a new level of kindness this time of year.
Those facing trauma can’t always join in the festive mood.
The rose-colored glasses broke a long time ago. An observer might describe the landscape of your life and relationship as charred ruins with hotspot embers that could flare with the slightest lie.
You might feel that your life’s horizon looks bleak.
Nothing is merry and bright.
Let’s consider some simple ways to navigate the holidays in the weeks before Christmas with peace, joy, and confidence.
These could include spending quality time with loved ones, engaging in activities that bring you peace, and finding moments of silence and reflection amidst the holiday rush.
🧭 Navigation Point: Discover Joy
Listen to the lyrics in many Christmas songs. How often do you hear the word joy?
🎵Joy to the World
🔔Hark the Herald Angels Sing
🎵Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee
🔔O Come, O Come Emmanuel
🎵Come Thou Long Expected Jesus
🔔As With Gladness Men of Old
🎵While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks
🔔Angels We Have Heard On High
🎵O Come All Ye Faithful
🔔There’s a Song In the Air
🎵O Holy Night
However, singing familiar words doesn’t teach you joy. Many people with broken relationships, illness, or separation from the familiar hear these songs and experience profound loneliness.
What brings you joy?
Reflecting, I discovered that the most profound moments of joy in the two years following the revelation of my husband’s struggle with porn were not material things.
Joy resulted from healthy interactions with people, relaxing experiences, and silence. I needed space to heal. I needed the ability to be around those I wanted to be around and not spend time with people who created more stress in my life because I already had enough.
This season, especially during your recovery, figuring out what brings you joy is essential.
For most of us, joy is not a one-size-fits-all concept. Your joy might differ from mine, your siblings, or your friends. Uncovering your unique source of joy can accelerate your journey to recovery.
What is joy?
Webster’s Dictionary defines joy as a very glad feeling, happiness, great pleasure, or delight. Again, this definition feels nebulous to me, like I can’t quite grasp my fingers around it.
But what is JOY?
When I look up joy in the Bible, I find numerous verses about it—333 to be exact, not including related phrases. What stands out is that biblical joy seems deeply connected to a thriving, meaningful relationship with God. I believe there’s something profoundly strong and straightforward in that connection.
The more I understood and spent time with God through reading the Bible and talking with him, the deeper my joy was. A better way to say that is that I strengthened my sense of joy, that pleasure, delight, and glad feeling.
It’s that feeling deep within my spirit that everything is okay. There’s a profound sense of peace and contentment even amid chaos or stress. Life is good; I’m okay; I’m safe.
I knew the joy was real when I could hold onto it in challenging situations. It didn’t mean I floated through those situations with a goofy look and a carefree attitude. I felt fear, frustration, anger, disappointment, and sadness, but this deep-seated sense of contentment and triumph underlay everything.
The only thing that makes sense is that I spent much time with God, getting to know him and understanding how he thinks in various situations. Anchoring myself in the God of the Bible gave me a constant to grasp. Conversely, when I don’t spend time with him by reading the Bible and talking with him, my levels of anxiety, stress, and discontent grow. And as they grow, my sense of pleasure and delight diminishes.
No matter how bleak your life may look, you can experience unstoppable joy if you immerse yourself in the God of the Bible.
Search for him and follow him even when it doesn’t make sense.
Psalm 71 says,
I will shout for joy and sing your praises,
for you have ransomed me.
I will tell about your righteous deeds
all day long,
for everyone who tried to hurt me
has been shamed and humiliated.
Like this simple carol tells us, you can find the Lord God Almighty in your bleak midwinter of recovery.
And when you come to him, you find joy.
If you wonder how you can possibly find joy after discovering your husband’s betrayal, please reach out.
You can find hope, freedom, and deep-seated happiness once again. I’d love to show you how.
The next blog in this series will review another navigation point. Be blessed. Get anchored. You’re not alone. Ever.