Father’s Day is right around the corner. Temps are warmer, necktie and grill ads abound, and baseball scores finally edge out basketball which makes it a great time to celebrate your husband as a dad.
For some, this is a rough day. Your memories of Dad are painful. You would rather skip this day.
For others, this is a day filled with great family times, barbecues, car shows, and other dad-related activities. You love spending time with Dad. For some of us, the day delivers some sadness, as our dads are no longer here with us.
And often, you now celebrate your husband more than your dad (or your dad’s memory) because in your house – he’s Daddy. And that’s a wonderful thing.
What are some ways you celebrate your husband as a dad?
Just like you are learning to be a good mom, your husband is learning to be a good dad. Let him know how proud you are of his efforts. Point out the ways he is a good dad. Your husband may not have had a good example, which makes being a good dad even more challenging. Your words will encourage him to do even better.
Allow him to be the dad.
Your husband isn’t you. He’s a unique individual, with special gifts and abilities you don’t have. Your kids need his abilities just like they need yours. Stop expecting him to be your parenting twin. He won’t parent like you do. That’s a great thing for your kids. And for you.
Pray for him daily.
Your husband is a maturing individual just like you. And he struggles with fear, insecurity, uncertainty, and the weight of providing for his family. He struggles to balance his work and family well. Therefore, while he might not tell you, he needs you to pray for him. Ask the Father to give your husband wisdom, courage, strength, and insight to function well as a husband and dad. Pray for him to navigate his work environment and personal challenges with grace, humility, and strength. Be his best intercessor.
Express your gratitude for him.
Will he do everything right all the time? Of course not. But he does a lot of things well. How often do you praise him what he does? According to online research, it takes 5-7 compliments to overcome one negative comment. Personal insults or criticisms hurt us. You know that. Listen to your words. Look for honest ways to express gratitude for your husband more than criticism. Don’t be a quarrelsome, nagging wife.
Celebrate his manliness.
I’m so thankful my husband is a man. He aggressively attacks problems. I’m thankful for his physical strength. He’s a fixer. I’m thankful he doesn’t process information the way I do. He takes risks and tackles challenges that I’d never consider. I love that he is very different from me. These are also the things that can drive me crazy. But, I don’t want to be married to my best girlfriend. I need and desire his manliness. I need him to be 100% man. Therefore, I choose to celebrate his manliness every day and ask the Father to help me understand him better.
Be gentle with his emotions.
Yes, he has them. He just doesn’t express them the way you do. Thankfully. Your husband is more emotionally fragile than you believe. Most men are more insecure about who they are than we know. But tell him you believe in him, trust him, and are proud of him, and he’ll go to great, new lengths to live up to your beliefs. Spend the majority of your time criticizing him, and watch him wilt. (re-read #4 above) Let him know you are safe enough to let his emotions show. Your man wants to please you. Watch how he does it and let him know you see it.
This Father’s Day, give your husband the greatest gift: your belief in him as a husband and a dad.
Your children need the differences their dad provides.
Find creative ways to show your husband he’s an awesome dad. Some ideas could be:
- Frame some new pictures of him doing things with the kids.
- Ask each child to write or record a video message to dad.
- Spend the day doing what he likes (not what you think he likes).
- Record a video of some of your favorite local places and talk about the memories you have at each one.
- Write him a letter telling him what you love and appreciate about him as a husband and a dad.
How will you celebrate your husband this Father’s Day? Leave a comment below.
If you are struggling to celebrate your husband , please reach out. I promise to listen without judgment and help you take the next step.